"I don't appreciate..."

These three words are some of the worst words a teacher can hear coming from a parent. Immediately, it lets me know that they are upset with something I have done and they are going to let me catch hell from them. This also makes any kind of contact or meeting with this parent basically uncomfortable from then on.

Most of the time the parent using this phrase is upset because their angel child has done something wrong that I am informing them about. This is a wonderful way to deflect the problem at hand and turn anything else into my fault. When their child kicks someone or knees another student in the butt while they are drinking from the water fountain, it only makes sense to say to the teacher, "I don't appreciate you not letting me know this has happened before." Apparently they forgot the infraction sheet they signed a couple weeks ago with a similar behavior. So glad I've kept that on file. :-)

Maybe she should come in and watch me with my class. I might be able to win her over. She might realize that she should appreciate me being consistent with her child and his behavior. Or appreciate me giving him praise or a pat on the back when he makes a good decision. Appreciate the patience I have with him when he veers from the correct path. Or the high expectations I have for him because he has great potential. What about the hug I give him as he leaves my room for the day? Or the hours I spend weekly, preparing what I do in class, coming up with fun activities and different ways to teach the same old standards so his butt will be ready for third grade. I guess those things don't need to be appreciated- probably because that's what I'm expected to do.

If only I ran the world and could tell parents what I really think, because I would then say back, "I don't appreciate you letting your child stay up until 10 o'clock and come dragging into my room late, without breakfast and tired this morning. I don't appreciate you initialing his homework messenger letting me know he's completed his homework, when in fact he didn't. I don't appreciate you modeling a bad attitude, where he thinks he can treat others badly and defy anyone in charge. I don't appreciate you sending him into school with a head full of adult lice running all over his scalp."

Too bad I don't run the world and I can't say those things. I guess it's because that's what PARENTS are EXPECTED to do.

And I appreciate those who do it!